July 17, 2011

About Me

I continuously have these thoughts/moments/memories on my mind that I want to share. Things I want to write down for the kids. Things I want to remember, myself, about these busy days in our life. (A mixed blessing about my mind.. it's always full of thoughts & ideas.. sometimes too many of them.. and they don't easily go away.)

Sometimes we get busy & I don't find time to spill them out into shared form.  So these lists start growing in my head.
I've got a pretty good list going on right now.

Probably the last on the list at any given time, is a post about myself.
In a way, everything I share tells something about myself. What I share about the kids tells (hopefully) how I feel about raising them, what's important to me, and how much I appreciate & adore them. The same goes for when I share about wildflowers or walks in the woods, I suppose this is revealing about me things that I care about.
But, just me- I feel kind of funny writing a post about myself, and don't very often.

Here's the deal though.. I'm barely ever in photos. I'm ok with that for the most part - I'm far more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it. But there are times when I feel a little sad that I don't have more photos of me with my children, with them when they were babies, even photos of me with my great big belly, carrying them.  Photos that tell the story of me doing what I’ve been doing these past fourteen years.

Mitch will, once in a great while, take a posed photo.  But the real "life" moments that I love so much to capture- I don't have those of myself, and my kid don't have them of me. 
And so once in a while I get this crazy concern in my head (doing what it does again) that my children won't remember things about me.. what I looked like, etc.  They won't have photos to generate memories of the moments I spend with them (though hopefully, they'll see the love behind the lens, knowing I was right there in those moments with them.) 
And so, to make up for my absence in our otherwise photo documented life, I feel a sense of urgency from time to time to write some things about myself for them.
I was going to do so for Mother's Day.  I was determined my birthday in June would be a good time to get around to it.  Another month went by & here I am.

Dad & the older boys have been out of town for a week. The younger three & I have been enjoying simple things & the oddly quiet pace that just myself and three kids is.  
They're playing & reading right now while we lay low in this extreme humidity, and I find myself with some time.
So here goes.

I love mowing the lawn. I was just doing that a while ago, so that’s fresh on the memory to start with.

I love the sun, but this year, especially, I’m becoming more conscientious of my exposure to it.. Started wearing a hat & sunglasses more. Now that I’m in my 30’s.. the sun gives my forehead & face these (not-so) nice brown spots. (not talking about freckles.)

Two days ago, for the first time in my life, I saw a snake & didn’t run or shriek. It may have helped that I could only see it’s small neck (do snakes have necks?) and head, and not the whole slithery body - it’s that slither that gives me creepy crawlies just typing about it.  I stayed calm, and didn’t move away.  I tried to face my fear.  (I really prefer to call it disgust.. I know they aren’t harmful, and so I’m not afraid.. but ISH, do I get disgusted.)   

I am not an early morning person by nature.  But if I happen to open an eye even partially at the crack of dawn & see a pink sky, I jump out of bed to grab my camera & watch the sunrise.
This happened yesterday morning.
Agreeing on names for our children was one (or five) of the most difficult decisions I’ve made.
If Mitch hadn’t shot down my ideas, we may have had a Brendan, Redmond, Charlie, Daphne or Scottie, & Bruce. If we'd had another girl, we may have had an Eeva Emilia (borrowing from my Finnish heritage.) I played with the name Kristiana, as well.

I’ve had a hernia for 4-5 years, since I was expecting Beau, that I should have fixed. One of these days.
I'm not much for doctoring.  I like to thinks it's partially why the kids are strong like bulls.  They have next to never been on antibiotics.  Three of them never, two of them just once in their lives.  Germs are ok, and so are fevers.. they are a part of childhood, and the human body doing what it is supposed to.     

I can’t wait to paint our living room again.  Living color has been proof to me that I prefer to dwell in lighter, airy colors that act as a canvas to what our family adds to our home.  Sweet Tea is nice, but has got to go.

I had a 3-wheeler accident once.  Flipping though the air, it landed on me after I landed in a swamp. I was about 14. My left leg never fully recovered, I'm self conscious about it.

My only tangible regret in life is my tattoo. I got it for my 15th birthday. I’m self conscious about this, too.
If I could change it, I would. 

During the summer months, I don’t enforce much of a bedtime for the kids. Bedtime is when the day is done & they are tired. The clock on the wall is less relevant than the sun in the sky.
One of my favorite memories so far this summer was being out in the yard with the kids, in the late darkness, under a starry sky, spotting & chasing fireflies. If I’d have enforced a bedtime, we would have missed the fireflies - and the awe of Beau’s first memorable encounter with them was much too good to be missed.   When school comes again we'll go back onto a schedule.  Summers are our free time.

While bedtime isn't high on my list of priorities, clean teeth & good posture are.  I also love language & just as I don't use cuss words, I don't use acronyms like "LOL."  I hope my kids grow up to use respectable vocabularies. 

I’ve been wanting to go to the Porcupine Mountains & Picture Rocks National Lakeshore for years. I think we’re pretty lucky to live as close as we do to one of the greatest lakes on earth, and would like to explore it more.

My dad (and ONLY my dad.. except for Uncle Stewart, once.) calls me Sal.  I should eat more vegetables.  I like Junior Mints. 

I don't like fake or phony.  I'm a fan of genuine, authentic, & real.  In every sense.

Beau & I sometimes dance (and do kung fu) to the Kung Fu Fighting song.  And I have this secret enthusiasm for ABBA, that only exists in our kitchen.  They (is ABBA a "they?") make me dance. (only in our kitchen!)

I hope to have a sauna someday.  We have plans for one.  But life is full & our plans don't happen quite as fast as they once did.  I miss taking saunas so much. 

I love maps & atlases.  My most recent map explorations have been to New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, & Prince Edward Island. 

This is me when I was a little girl.  That was my favorite Benji shirt.  I broke my arm the summer I turned four.  I remember how my arm itched inside the heavy cast.   I still have the same crazy cowlic.
We were up in Ontario for my recent birthday.  I'm not sure if I've ever blogged about my own birthday.
It was just another day on the lake.  We went ashore to do a little exploring on land which was nice. 
I didn't eat dinner that night, let alone have birthday cake or anything like that.  In all honesty, it wasn't much of a birthday.  We were overlapping with my sister & her family up there, and it was kind of a chaotic evening.  But I did sit on the dock & watch the sunset, it was the most calm & pretty of our trip that night.  This was our evening catch that day. 
My birthdays seem to have this way of being a bummer to me.  I like to believe in special occasions & celebrating, maybe that's why I feel disappointed, when nothing special or celebratory happens. 
A couple of days later, after our return home, Mitch did something he's never done for me before (in 17 years of dating & marriage)  He made me a birthday cake.  I may have shed a tear.
It was actually his own birthday that day.  He made the frosting from scratch, except for the greenish-black "icing" for the words.  That was straight gel food coloring, which he mistook for icing.  My mouth was a little green before I realized what I was eating.  :)  I love the fingerprints in the frosting the most.  

Ok, I think that's enough about me for one evening.

4 comments:

  1. Neat posts. I was browing thru "wildflower interest" profiles and came here to find beautiful flower pics and some great fishing! Thanks for sharing.

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  2. as always, i enjoyed this post. your kids look so much like the little you!

    i am never in photos either.

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  3. I LOVE your little girl post! SERIOUSLY SO CUTE!! and the cake, Jerusha has started making my cakes. You are definately NOT phony, about the most authentic person I know amanda...love that about you! HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY....
    Hey you should check out the pioneer woman cooks blog one day...I told lisa about her and she is loving her recipes... very down to earth and YUMMY UP YOUR ALLY

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  4. Troutbirder, thanks for stopping by.

    Erin, I haven't checked out her blog, but have a Pioneer Woman cookbook - I plan on using it when I start doing more real cooking come cooler weather. And thanks - that's about the greatest compliment I can ever receive. Authenticity is important to me!

    As always - the list of things to post is growing. Enjoying summer & hope to share more if it very soon!

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